Sentimientos Encontrados

By Anonmyous 

After 9 years of not going to Mexico, I decided to go once again.

Mexico has always symbolized my childhood. I spent up to 5th grade in a little ranchito, playing in the tierra caliente with cousins and friends. My carefree childhood ended when I moved back to the United States in 6th grade, when my perpetrator began to abuse me.

After booking the flight to Mexico, I felt conflicted. I knew I was going to Mexico to visit family and friends that I hadn’t seen in so long, but I also knew that I was going to visit my childhood. The childhood I so longed to return while in middle school. I tried to not overthink it, and most of the time I would not even have time but at night I would myself having multiple nightmares.

Eventually, the day for departure came. I arrived to Mexico on a rainy afternoon and smelled the familiar tierra mojada. Finally, I realized that its okay to love my childhood in Mexico. Its okay to recognize that my childhood in the United States was not the best. That is all fine. Afterall, I’m not separate entities but one entire compilation.

I plan to return to Mexico once again this summer. This time, I’m striving to not wait 9 years to travel. I will go para encontrar sentimientos viejos y nuevos.